Thursday, August 27, 2009

It's not gangrenous if you were born that way.

Funniest chief complaint yesterday...

"Penis is black"

The child was African American. Grandma was worried.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Waste not?

Well, I guess it's a rather utilitarian way to go about it...

Most China transplants from prisoners: state media

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Partial credit for participation...?

A while back...

ME: OK, she weighs 60 pounds
CHILD'S MOTHER: Is that normal?
ME: Let me plot it on the growth chart real quick
CHILD'S MOTHER: You know, because I don't want her to become obeast.
ME: I'm sorry?
CHILD'S MOTHER: I don't want her to become obeast and have health problems.
ME: Oh, I see. Well it looks like she's a pretty normal weight.
CHILD'S MOTHER: Well thank goodness for that.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

Wow, I have forgotten about my blog. Sorry.

Tomorrow is the first day back to class. I'm starting the lovefest that is maternity this semester. I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited, but I now know for sure that I'll have material to scare my little sister for years. She's afraid of female genitalia.

I guess it's better than my very first semester of nursing school. I remember my orientation very well. It was excruciating. I don't know if they do this in other majors, but they really like to give speeches about professionalism in nursing.

"When you're in nursing, you're not just a nurse. You're a professional. This means you are to act as a professional. Why, when I was in nursing school and we had to wear white dresses and caps, no imperfection was tolerated. In fact, I cried every day on my way to school. I peed my pants in clinical on a regular basis. Luckily, this gave me practice in dealing with incontinent adults! You will all exude professionalism OR ELSE."

It is quite tiresome. Top Chef is a lot like nursing: Everyone takes him or herself very, very seriously.